Please leave your conspiracy theory outside....It always makes the place smell bad!

We got him!    It's good to be an American.....Now I know all you people with nothing better to do will start talking about how, "we didn't get him", or "the government is a bunch of liars". I think if your handed out cake in third grade and your the kid that doesn't eat it because mom thinks people might have poisoned it you may be that person who thinks we spend money creating all these horrible things and that our government spends endless days making your worthless life harder.....Eat the fucking cake! WE WIN!

80's sitcom....A little Jaeger.... And some spray paint!!!! YAY!

So it's not to often that medical supplies wet my appetite....I'm not usually perusing my local Medical supply warehouse looking at the latest commodes or wheelchairs, or urine bottles; but recently I have become quite the connoisseur of all things medical. Spending some time in the hospital I have come to enjoy a good "johnny" and a nice leg brace.... So as I was fitted for crutches that were to become my "best buddies" for the next four months I was so excited (I hope the sarcasm isn't to much to chew on I may have cooked it a little too much)....... These crutches came with the  meeting of  these two lovely ladies from the occupational therapy world I couldn't help but think had been the stars of a long lost sitcom from the 80's called "Pearl and Maude, The OT Ladies" ( I would watch their show). Anyways as these ladies helped me navigate what would be come my 4 legged stance for the next couple of months I knew they had the love in their eyes for the Medical equipment like I now had.....As I arrived home with my run of the mill sticks I still felt that if Pearl and Maude had given them to me, they were mine and I needed to love them just like I would my own legs.... Staring at these things staring back at me I couldn't help but think they were like, "Yeah so we have been under every one's armpits, don't think your special, after we are done here we will be in someone else's pits" I started to think my nomad crutches didn't even really want to help me out. I was being used like a common street whore. In the midst of my misery I received a phone call from my boys Street Bob and Chopper Jim, asking, "What I was doing?" (This has become a common joke that my buddy Street Bob asks because he knows I can't walk so he insists on asking me what I'm up too every time he talks with me) I replied, "Just hanging out man"....I could tell  by their giddiness  on the phone  it meant only a couple things; they were either drunk, or drunk.....As I listened to their babbling on the phone I gathered that they had something for me. .....Now keep in mind these are the types of guys that would show up to my house in vintage leisure suits talking about how they had been doing burnouts in a garage with a vintage moped that they might have stolen....... Street Bob went on to say, "Hey  we made something for you but if you don't like it please act like you do because it was a lot of work" This, I thought, could go in any direction.....I decided to play along and told them to bring the dead hooker, I mean gift, by.......As they pulled up They ran into my house with the giddiness that only a couple of shots of Jaeger could produce........They simply said, "You ready" and I was not, but when I opened my eyes I felt  like a 12 year old opening his eyes to his new bike.....BAAAAM....What lay before me was something of total beauty, something that took time and love, and something that made my other street hore crutches fall over....I immediately wanted to call Pearl and Maude and say,"You guys will never believe what I got"........What lay before me were some custom Flat Black  and Brass riveted Crutches......My very own, they were not going in anyone else's armpits, just mine......These beauties were the work of my two best buds.... and I couldn't wait to figure out how to get out of bed to use these babies....I knew that little crippled boys and little crippled girls would be so jealous that they would bow down, or limp down, or something at my mangled leg and worship these medical beauties........ thanks guys ....It's the little things.....

After your done watching the Muppets...Watch this!

I love Jason Jessee. Why? you ask....Simple. How many times have you walked through the park or local bus station and there is that guy with one shoe on, a half shirt, and a tuxedo jacket, singing to a Walkman that isn't on or working in anyway?......The answer is, YES, we all have seen that guy. Maybe some of you have even bought him a sandwich, I don't know......So when you see that man, or woman, or man/woman have you ever wondered if they are playing a joke on us....Maybe they are laughing deep down inside at our reactions, or maybe they just enjoy walking on the ceiling instead of the ground. Either way these guys provoke disgust from squares and false understanding from hippies.....Yeah, yeah Jason is a former pro skateboarder, who cares, so is everyone, and yeah yeah he is a bike builder but then again, so is everyone. What makes Jay great is he may be laughing at you while your trying to put his poster on your wall, or he might be laughing at you as you try to tell a girl at a bar how you just finished building this new Panhead (she doesn't care) .That's what makes Jay great. Every time you want to invite him to your kids birthday party your not sure if he is going to show up with a dead chicken around his neck and an ak47.....Anyways go watch the movie PRAY FOR ME....It rules. It is a really good documentary even if you are the type of guy who watches Glee and knows what time the latest Yoga class is....I get it Jay ......I get it....But maybe I'm not supposed to.....

I Think Your Bikes On Fire Dude!!!!!!

So late one tasty afternoon in front of the skateshop I was taking in some of the South Shores finest automobiles passing buy. I decided to trick myself into thinking Minivans were the coolest, rarest things on the road so I was wetting my pants in excitement the whole day as the goldmine of excellence kept passing me by......God I need a life...Anyways amongst the plethora of  gorgeous mini people carriers I spotted what looked to be a gent on  some sort of chopped up something.....I made eye contact and he made it back but it seemed as if I was letting him know with my eyes...."Why don't I know you"?.......I later came to find out he thought my shop was a computer store (It's called Technical) and that I was a Jack Sparrow impersonator waiting for a kids birthday party.......Anyways on a couple of occasions I noticed this bloke ride by my shop and we would stare at each other like you did at the new kid the first day at school thinking, "I could use some new friends but if I look tough maybe the new kid will think I'm the coolest kid in here".....So one day standing with Street Bob Andy ( the name is a joke for Christ's sake) my school yard newbie rode right past again in full stare....As I was explaining to Street Bob about this guy he waved him in to the parking lot with an expression like, "Let's find out".......Schoolyard didn't hesitate to u turn this rig and head back to the lot....As he pulled up I noticed he was riding on a completely disgusting absolutely beautiful shit wagon of a KZ......This thing had clearly gotten thrown out of its house when it was little, but my boy had given it a home. This bike was everything that I loved about DIY culture...Right down to the gay Punisher rear fender. (That he later had to stop in the middle of a ride to weld back on and then continue the ride). This guy's name was Jim, and he quickly took on the name Chopper Jim...Anyone who had the balls to ride such a beautiful disaster was my kind of guy and after giving him the proper aptitude test in written form we decided he had to become a Bomber......After hanging out with this kid for awhile he quickly became on of the loyal crew. This guys bike actually made us look good because of its affect on people.....The old schoolers would be like, "Fuck yeah" and the new schoolers would be like, "Fuck that" which was perfect for us.......So one day riding with Chopper Jim he pulled up next to me, German helmet, cigarette in mouth, and Jorts (come on, jean shorts). As I looked over at him on this four lane road we were beating up I happened to notice that he had become a stage prop from a Motley Crue 1987 tour......The fucking kid and bike was on FIRE......I thought to myself, "Well there go the Jorts"..... We pulled over and made sure Chopper Jim hadn't become Burn Victim Jim, and then proceeded to watch this beauty burn....BURN BABY BURN......Some chicks pulled up to ask if it was OK and Chopper told them he was a stuntman and they were filming a Mahhk Whaaaalberg Flick Kiiid....I think he got their number......Anyways he got a new bike but nothing will beat that burned up piece of shit.......RIP

DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE MUSTACHE!

So me and my buddies decided instead of just wearing the usual slutty secretary, or slutty mailman outfit for Halloween, we would just go on the Boston Harley Davidson Halloween Ride aka the Halloween ride. Anyways we made the trek up to the north shore of Massachusetts to join in the spooktacular event. Expecting to see all the chrome and tassels I could handle for a lifetime I was greeted by 8,000 weekend warriors, who, surprisingly seemed as disappointed as I was that the OCC guys weren't their to unveil their latest zombies cycle......Ok, Ok, I'm getting off track. This ride was one of the best I had ever been on..people were cool, the crowd was great, burnouts were plenty, and there was even a 85 year old woman  with a logo on her butt that actually said "soil me"....I kid you not...... While we were waiting for the bikes to role in after we parked, the most ruthless twosome rolled past.... 1 of which was quite possibly the sickest Panhead I had ever seen, followed by a stretched out chopper with a paint job that looked like the guy died after he spent his whole life working on it (thanks for the 90 years, paint looks great)...These bikes were so great and it wasn't because of the factory shit wagons we had been staring at all day....These bikes would have stood up at Willie's.......Anyways what I noticed was the one guy who seemed to be the leader looked like he would kick the shit out of me just for looking at his boots....This guy had the most official mustache, that somewhere Burt Reynolds was saying, "Fuck you man, Fuck you"....With his swagger and the fact that my buddy Street Bob Andy decided to change his pants right in front of him in the crowded parking lot made me question my approach a little. After mentioning, "I liked his bikes" he gave me his card which read....."Get Fucked"...Just kidding, it said, "American Motorcycle Service, Scottie Porges, owner".......I hung on to it and a couple months later I went out to this guys shop......Let me tell you this guy not only knows how to build bikes but he actually knows how to make them look good too....He even bought me lunch.......I was hooked..I consider the guy a friend of mine now and would recommend anyone to check him out who wants to get some class...Fuck just go stand next to the guy at a bike show and you'll look cooler than you already are.... But seriously don't fuck with the 'stache.......

http://www.highly-dangerous.com/American_Motorcycle_and_Highly_Dangerous/American_Motorcycle.html

Annnd the Oscar Goes Tooo....

Aggroman is a movie I used to burn through when I was a kid...It featured Mat Hoffman, (who was like our idol) and a whole host of cinematic amazingness...Go try to buy a copy somewhere...It is so bad it rules....Were they making fun of us or ....Nah it ruled......Evil Ninja... P.S. Hoffman bikes just re released a limited version of this bike......YAAAAAH Re-release!

From time to time I will post things that are great.....

What do these pictures all have in common?

If you could make cool soup and a splash of Western Mass class, this is what it would taste like..

http://www.lickscycles.com/

So I typed out this long thing of how I met AJ from Lick's with a bike trip I took with my Dad a couple of years ago and then my computer quit....So I'll make this short and sweet. AJ from Lick's is one of those dudes you wished existed....Wait he does. This dude knows cool back when cool was something you could only read about in Thrasher magazine...When I was young and used to dress up like I  thought I was cool in my Vision sweatpants, somewhere AJ was carrying down Cool tablets from Mt. Cool with the Cool Commandments on it....Oh whatever you get it.....I first saw this guy when I walked into his shop and he immediately gave me a hug and said, "Welcome brother" ...this guy had more Dice mag and GK and Biltwell products then I had ever seen in my life...Along with some radtastic bikes that were so detailed with class I was kinda speechless. As he took us around you would never know that he was the cool kid on the bus in the back seat with the cut off denim..Even tho he looked like he came out of a Ed Roth chopper mag he was the most welcoming dude I had ever met. He reminded me why I got into bikes to begin with and there aren't to many reminders of that on a daily basis.....Anyways this guy and this shop gets it....If you haven't gotten anything from Lick's yet don't bother because you probably are one of the guys who kept the reflectors on your forks from the factory....Check him out and send him your money if you get it, and even if you don't just send him money he will show you the way!

I Love Chopper Dave!

Get that Visor down son!!!!

TFL ohhhh I get it....

Technical Skateshop has been my home base for 11 years and when one of my best homeboys ( who already had the logo of the shop tattoed on his back) said, "I want to get TFL tattoed on my neck" I felt like someone just made me a cake. This dude Craig who has become my partner in crime over these 11 years is the oldschool version of that guy that would scare the bullies away from beating you up on the bus and then give you the heads up on not wearing that ALF shirt to school anymore (listen if you were born in 1995 your not going to get these references, I was a child of the eightees alright)...So as I watched him forever brand himself with, Technical For Life, I thought, " I bet I could wear that ALF shirt to school now. Whatup now Schoolbus"!

Is that the year 1975 on your head or are you just happy to see me?

So my best brother in life decided he wanted to follow me into the vintage full-faced helmet land, and I said ........."Ok" after being disappointed that my Dennis Kirk catalog didn't have it i reluctantly turned to ebay, again...I had purchased my 1973 Grant beauty from there and it even came with the water damaged box. After I put it on I thought, "MMMM I did love my Biltwell but I love my teeth too" ...Hey Chopper Dave wears one for Christ's sake.....While I was deciding what ruthlessly offensive sticker to put on this disco child, I came up with triple 666's...I had to scrape of the Mustache rides sticker first tho....anyways this isn't about me this is about my brother......He landed a sweeeet Bell Star 3 from 1975 that I'm sure some seven year old was wearing with his favorite Leif Garret shirt back in the day( my buddy has a tiny head)......This thing is sweet and after he asked me what to put on his belt drive with a paint marker ( obviously "Balls Deep") I was able to give him a few suggestions....He turned down Freedom Eagle Pants and went with KILL......SO GO KILL 'EM BUDDY.

Hippy Killer Hoedown is ok for you to enjoy.....

We sent some stuff from the Skateshop Technical that we rep (props to TFL).... They posted it to their blog. The thing about Kutty is that he simply is a great guy...If you support Hippy Killer you definatley opened the doors for the deaf kids in your elementary school.....

http://hippykillersgarage.blogspot.com/2011/04/let-get-technical.html

SO THERE I WAS RIDING WITH SOME FELLOW BOMBERS WHENNNN....

These are the great pictures of my beautiful Sunday riding with some of my peeps. Instead of splitting lanes I ended up splitting bones. Some super jock on a lovely crotch rocket KZ decided to have a convo with a cyclist at the speed of 10 mph ....When my crew passed him he decided to wait and undercut me in a roundabout ( yeah fuck you I like what the Brit's call it ok). Anyways as he did this we proceeded to pass him and pass back etc. etc. We were passing so much I felt like I was at woodstock and Hendrix was on stage maaaaan. As he started to split lanes into oncoming traffic I said, "Hmmmm... I'm a criminal I can ride like that too"..... When he realized he couldn't shake me I pulled up next to him to ask if he had any expensive mustard (ie Grey Poupon, whaatup 1980's). His response, in his shiny leather body suit was...."No, but I do have my handlebars into yours at 50 mph".....As I hit the ground watching my leg pass me by I thought, "I think the mustard wasn't to much to ask for, this road tastes a little overcooked". After that it was pretty much, "Please don't cut that off" and "Why yes I would like to stay here for a week and get some 20,000 dollar rods placed in my legs"........ If your reading this and you were the guy who took me out I hope your telling your buddies, "You should have seen the look on that Harley fags face as he hit the ground" and then I hope you do some high kicks and high fives and talk about how your totally gonna party this weekend.